...And so, the BARK KNIGHT and the SMALL WONDER set off for the GPS coordinates of M.E.O.W. HEADQUARTERS in KATHMANDU...
"Holy leg cramps, Bark Knight! That was a long plane flight."
Indeed it was, Small Wonder. Well, these are the coordinates. What a forbidding place...shall we proceed inside?
"Yeah. Let's rescue those dog biscuits for the good of all dogkind!"
Very well then. Forward!...
"Hey, look, Bark Knight! That has to be..."
Yes, Small Wonder. I believe it is none other than Katnip Evergreen, Baron von Katzenheimer's niece and assistant.
Quietly, now. Let's see if we can sneak past.
Katnip murmured to herself as she paged through the Evil Overlord Planner™. "Hmmm. What's on Uncle's schedule for today?
'Nap.
Repaint hideout in black.
Send another ultimatum to P.O.U.N.D.
Eat sardines.
Gloat at the incompetence of dogs.
Change Katnip's look, as it's not nearly evil enough...perhaps dye her fur black while she sleeps.'
...Wait, what?!?"
Suddenly she turned. "Eh? What's that? Who's there?"
Great Scott! She's heard us!
The Small Wonder froze. "Holy caught in the act, Bark Knight!"
"Oh. Hello," Katnip said pleasantly. "You must be here about the dog biscuits."
"Er...yes," the Small Wonder said. "Hand them over now, villain!
"Certainly," Katnip nodded. She pushed the dog biscuits across the floor.
Oh. Wow. I, uh, wasn't expecting it to be this easy.
Aren't you supposed to cackle evilly, monologue about your plans, and put up some sort of fight? Or something?
Katnip sighed. "That's my uncle's shtick. Not mine. To be honest, I'm glad you're here. Uncle's plans are getting out of hand. Now he even plans to dye my fur black. Can you imagine?"
That sounds terrible.
"Yes, it does! He wasn't always a villain, you know. We used to play with balls of yarn together...tend to our catnip garden together...that hasn't happened in years. Maybe if these dog biscuits are out of his sight, he'll forget this vendetta against dogs. Anyway, it's worth a try. So here, take them, with my sincere apologies."
Well, on behalf of dogs everywhere, I thank you, Katnip. This is sure to help canine-feline foreign relations worldwide.
"I hope so. Now you'd better go, before Uncle gets back," Katnip urged.
"Won't you be in trouble when he gets back and sees the dog biscuits are gone?" the Small Wonder asked worriedly.
"That's why I'm not hanging around," Katnip said. "After you leave, I'm taking the first plane to St. Bernard!"
Farewell, Katnip, and good luck!
"...and so, you see, I need to access your computer to pinpoint the location from which Baron von Katzenheimer hijacked your blog post," Agent Sparky finished.
Wow. Uh...wow. That's a wild story. Forgive me if this sounds a little paranoid, but...I'm going to need to see some I.D.
"Of course," Agent Sparky said immediately.
Hmmm...okay...that looks official. Okay, let me show you the computer.
"Thanks. This will take just a minute, and then I'll be out of your fur. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm-hmmm...."
Are all P.O.U.N.D. operatives trained computer hackers?
"Yes, we all receive intensive technology training. I happened to be assigned because your case is in my jurisdiction. Mmm-hmmm...almost there..."
"Aha! We've got it! These are the GPS coordinates from which the Baron hacked into your computer."
Wow, that's great! So now you guys can go rescue those captive dog biscuits, right?...
Agent Sparky hesitated. "Well...theoretically, yes. First we have to submit a report on the situation to justify funding. Then we have to organize a team and brief them on the mission."
Wow. That sounds like it could take quite some time.
"Indeed. Which reminds me...have you, by any chance, seen this dog?"
Uh. Uh, no, sorry. Never seen him before in my life. --Who is he?
"He goes by The Bark Knight. A vigilante. My superiors hope that they can speed up the rescue mission by going through, er, unofficial channels."
Ah, yes. That makes sense.
Sparky went on. "So if you happen to see anyone matching his description, please contact me right away. We need to find him, ASAP."
Yessir. I'll do that.
"Very good. Well, I'd better get this data back to HQ as soon as I can. Thanks for your cooperation...I'll see myself out."
*door closes behind Agent Sparky*
.....SPUNKY!! Come here, quick!
*sound of running feet*
"(pant, pant) What?" Spunky gasped, as he arrived. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Is your Small Wonder costume back from the cleaners?
"Uh, yes. Why? What's this about?"
Suit up, little buddy. It's showtime for...
THE BARK KNIGHT!
Greetings, citizens. It is I, the BARK KNIGHT...and I have terrific news!
Your streets have just become even safer, because I have found a suitable sidekick.
Introducing my new partner, THE SMALL WONDER!
"HEY!" Spunky sputtered. "That's NOT the name we agreed on earlier!"
Heh heh heh...I know. Come on, show us the rest of the costume. Strike a heroic pose and give us your signature catchphrase.
"(Sigh.) Fine...Holy Bacon Bits, Bark Knight!"
Nicely done, Small Wonder. You're doing well.
"I just hope we don't get slapped with any copyright infringements," Spunky muttered.
And so our Caped Canines race off to protect the city and usher in a new era of peace and order for its citizens. But how long will it last? And is Spunky really stuck with the name "Small Wonder"? The answers to these and many more questions will be revealed in the next episode of THE BARK KNIGHT. See you next time...same BARK-time, same BARK-channel!
